This album pretty amazingly sums up my past year. It’s hard to believe my life was literally falling apart this time last June. My marriage was falling appart, my house was falling appart (the plumbing anyway), and my daily routine; my one source of focus and drive was threatened by changes to the local public transit system.
A year ago I said, “Never love anything you can’t bear to lose” and now I know how wrong that is. I don’t even remember which blog I posted it on, but I’ve searched pretty hard so I assume at some point I must have deleted it. That thought came from the dark end of a very long tunnel I started down 15 years ago.
After a week of uncertainty at the end of last June, I thought I’d figured out how things were going to play out this year. The plan was good, but I had no idea how wonderfully wrong it would be. This year was an amazing journey. I feel like I’m still a mess. I started crying uncontrollably as I started this post, but I let it happen. A year ago I couldn’t do that.
I have lot of internalized negativity to work through, but I’ve started on that. I need to, because I love someone I couldn’t bear to lose.